Bitcoiners in Battle Mode, Tether's Mega Valuation & DeFi Drama

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Alright, DegenDen,

Welcome back to your weekly dose of crypto chaos, market moves, and enough spicy drama to keep your feeds fired up.

Bitcoin is debating its existential purpose (again), Tether flexes some enormous valuation muscles, and we’ve got another major DeFi hack shaking things up.

Grab your bananas, folks - it’s time to dive in. 🍌

🧃 THE JUICE (a.k.a. THE RUNDOWN)

🔸 Bitcoin Core Drama 🔥

Core devs sparked intense debates on Bitcoin's non-financial uses. Community split between free-market purists and anti-spam warriors.

🔸 Tether’s Huge Flex 💪

Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino scoffs at IPO, jokingly calling a massive $515B valuation "bearish." Rival Circle already made waves on the NYSE.

🔸 Alex Protocol Hit Again ⚠️

Bitcoin DeFi platform Alex Protocol hacked for $8.3M, second major incident in a year. The team promises full refunds.

🔸 Ether ETFs Hot Streak 📈

Spot ETH ETFs have seen 15 days straight of inflows, pulling $837.5M closer to a $1B milestone.

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MAIN EVENT: Bitcoin Core Devs Drop a Statement Bomb - Community Split Wide Open

What's the fuss about? 🤔

A rare joint statement by 31 Bitcoin Core developers has unleashed a fiery debate among Bitcoiners.

At the heart of the storm? Non-financial use cases like data inscriptions and OP_RETURN spam on the network.

The devs insist Bitcoin's strength is censorship resistance-meaning it shouldn’t play "network police" when it comes to how users transact.

But not everyone's having it:

JAN3 CEO Samson Mow blasted the statement, accusing devs of enabling spam and damaging Bitcoin’s monetary mission.

On the other side, influential voices like Casa founder Jameson Lopp defended the developers’ neutral stance, calling critics overly dramatic.

TL;DR: Bitcoiners are passionately divided, some want Bitcoin purely as sound money; others embrace its open, neutral tech ethos. This debate won’t fade anytime soon.

💰 Market Moves & Memeable Moments

Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino Rejects IPO, Throws Epic Shade at Valuation

Just days after rival stablecoin giant Circle launched its IPO (shares skyrocketed 167%), Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino shut down any similar speculation for his own company.

Tether’s rumored market valuation of $515 billion? Ardoino laughed, calling it "a bit bearish," subtly bragging that Tether’s reserves of Bitcoin and gold could push that number even higher.

When your valuation flex makes Coca-Cola and Costco look small… 🍿

🔐 DeFi Drama: Alex Protocol's Nightmare Continues

Alex Protocol Loses $8.3M-Promises Refunds

Bitcoin DeFi’s Alex Protocol got hit yet again—losing $8.3 million this time to an exploit exploiting a flaw in its liquidity pools.

The Alex Lab Foundation quickly announced they’ll reimburse affected users fully, paid out in USDC.

This is Alex’s second major hack in a year, following a $4.3 million loss last May linked to North Korea’s Lazarus Group.

DeFi stays risky, folks, always check your bananas twice 🍌🔍.

🥊 QUOTABLE CLASHES

Here’s what crypto’s loudest voices shouted this week:

• Paul Atkins (Chair, SEC):
  “The crypto markets have been languishing in SEC limbo for years.”

• Vitalik Buterin (Ethereum Co-Founder):
  “A market dominated by few RPC providers faces strong pressure to censor users.”

• Nate Geraci (President, The ETF Store):
  “Given trading volume today, expect these inflow numbers to increase.”

🚨 FUD Watch: Don’t Get Ubered!

An unfortunate American tourist in London got drugged and robbed by a fake Uber driver, losing $123K in Bitcoin stored on his phone. Always double-check your rides and keep your cold wallets safe, friends.

And Cetus, a popular Sui-based DEX, suffered a suspected hack, losing up to $200M in assets, marking yet another reminder that DeFi's frontier remains wild. 🏴‍☠️

📆 MARKET SNAPSHOT

Here's your crypto market vibes check:

• Bitcoin (BTC): $105,540 (🟢)

• Ethereum (ETH): $2,5o7 (🟢)

• XRP: $2.21 (🟢)

Market Cap: $3.29 trillion

Weekly Winners 🚀:

• AB (AB) +25.24%

• SPX6900 (SPX) +25.00%

• Sky (SKY) +11.93%

Weekly Losers:

• DeXe (DEXE) -24.24%

• jupiter (JUP) -12.07%

• Stacks (STX) -9.69%

This week reinforced two big truths in crypto:

• Bitcoin’s community is still fiercely protective and divided over how the network should evolve.

• DeFi remains as risky as ever, but its promise keeps pulling us back in.

Keep your security tight and your bags ready. The crypto rollercoaster isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

Until next time, keep ape-ing safely!

– The DegenDen Team

Meme of The Day